TrekkWars VS WIZard Lords!
by Scorpio Malfoy107
Summary: It's the 37th Annual Fantasy World Cup and sci fi and fantasy are ready to clash in a battle of football to prove their genre's superiority! Expect familiar names! A Star Trek, LOTR, Harry Potter, Star Wars, The Matrix, Pirates of the Caribbean fic!
1. The Fantasy World Cup has begun!

SCI-FI V.S FANTASY: ULTIMATE FOOTBALL!

Disclaimer: How many times do I have to remind you that I DO NOT own Star Trek TOS and TNG, Star Wars, The Matrix, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and every other fantasy and science fiction book, movie, or T.V Show you have ever heard of???

(Fiction World Cup Tournament! Alternatively known as the FWCT!)

Draco Malfoy: This is a fight to the finish for supremacy over the Fiction World where Sci Fi and Fantasy characters clash in an epic game of FOOTBALL!!! (soccer, heh, heh!). Expect madness, plenty of people fainting, and lots of familiar names! (grins evilly). I am your most important commentator by the way- Draco Maaaalfoooooy!

Jack Sparrow: Son of a MALFOY!

(crowd gasps at the insult)

Draco Malfoy: What being a Malfoy isn't a bad thing!…..right?

Neo from The Matrix (who happens to be a commentator): What am I doing here?

Draco Malfoy: Yeah, what are you doing here?

Jack Sparrow: (sighs) Our teams will be joining us in a moment! Today Sci Fi and Fantasy will clash in an epic-

Draco: I told them that part, Jack.

Jack Sparrow: Alright then, uh, today Sci Fi and Fantasy will do battle in a game of football! It's TrekkWars V.S the Hopping Hippogriffs-

Draco Malfoy: Hopping Hippo- hey wait a sec there Jack, they changed their name to the WIZard Lords.

Jack Sparrow: WHAT? But I loved the Hopping Hippogriffs!

Draco Malfoy: Too bad, here they come ladies and gentlemen, the WIZARD LOOORDS!

( The WIZard Lords enter from the right side of the stadium. Crowd goes wild, Lord of the Rings theme song blends with Harry Potter Theme. Some of the crowd though, booed and yelled curses at their enemy.)

Draco Malfoy: And there's Severus Snape followed by the Pureblood traitor Ron Weasley, and-what's his name- Aragorn son of Arathorn, right! Then Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Hermione Granger, what's SHE doing in a game of FOOTBALL?

Jack Sparrow: No idea, and I don't care.

Draco Malfoy: Tch, yeah right. Your friend Will Turner is in there. Here he comes, give it up for Gimli son of Gloin and Legolas Greenleeeaaaf!

Jack Sparrow: (looks absolutely disgusted) He's HIDEOUS!!!

Draco: Uh- that's not really him, Jack.

Jack Sparrow: He's BLONDE!

Draco: I was joking, that _thing_ isn't REALLY him.

Neo: (mutters) Unintelligent fantasy geeks.

Draco Malfoy: Here comes Boromir son of Denethor, Celeborn King of Lothlorien, Team Captain Gandalf the White, Pippin, Frodo, a bunch of Hobbits, blah, blah BLAH. Oh crap…. And here comes Potter.

Jack Sparrow: Potter? Who's that?

Draco Malfoy: Ask me about Harry Potter again and I'll punch your face in idiot.

Jack Sparrow: Hmph, someone's touchy.

(After all the Fantasy players have filed out onto the field, Neo takes the spotlight.)

Neo: (flips on his totally-awesome Matrix glasses) Finally, time for some REAL action. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the TrekkWars!

Draco Malfoy: (mutters to Jack Sparrow) Couldn't they think of a more intimidating name?

Jack Sparrow: Like the Hopping Hippogriffs?

Draco Malfoy: Yeah.

( The TrekkWars enter from the left side of the field. The crowd goes wild again. The Star Trek Theme Song rings out first and morphs suddenly into the Star Wars Theme. Some of the "Fantasy" crowd swear at their enemies.)

Neo: Here comes Team Captain James T. Kirk followed by the other Team Captains, Luke Skywalker and Jean-Luc Picard…

Draco Malfoy: WHAT? THREE TEAM CAPTAINS?

Neo: Shut up nerd.

Draco: And look who's talkin!

Neo: (ignores him) Here comes Commander Spock, Commander Riker, Lieutenant Commander Data-

Draco: Commanders? Come ON, Neo.

Neo: (gives him the evil eye but Draco doesn't realize it because the glasses were blocking his eyes.) Then there's Goalkeeper Obi Wan Kenobi, Geordy La Forge, Worf, Wesley Crusher, Doctor McCoy, Han Solo, C3PO, R2D2, Chewbacca…

Draco: You mean that big furry puffball which keeps on growling like a bear?

Neo: (sighs) He's not a Tribble, Draco.

Draco: What's a Tribble?

Neo: (all attention is fixed back on the field) Checkov, Montgomery Scott, Han Sulu, oh wait-

Draco: Stop mispronouncing names idiot!

Neo: OKAY, I didn't mean the Han part! And along comes the Borg Queen, oh crap, the BORG QUEEN?

Draco: She doesn't look too friendly. And shouldn't she be with the cheerleaders?

Jack Sparrow: Ayiiyiii.

Neo: And that's about it.

Jack Sparrow: And here come the cheerleaders. Eewoks and Elves led by Lady Galadriel, Arwen, Princess Leia, Beverly Crusher, Deanna Troi, and Hermione Granger who probably didn't hear me because she is reading a stupid $% book!

Hermione: (glances up) Shut up, peg legged infidel.

Neo: Ooh, that hurt.

Jack Sparrow: (snarls) I don't have a peg- why you little….*&%4!

Draco: (changes the subject!) On with the show! In 3…. 2….

Neo: 1... 0.9... 0.8... 0.7-

Draco: It's ZERO dammit!

The ball has been placed… the teams are ready… Jar Jar Binks blows the whistle…. The Fiction World Cup has began!


	2. Indiana Jones to the Rescue

Part 2

The WIZards won the toss so they have possession of the ball. Pippin takes the ball and smiles at his team stupidly.

Pippin: Yay, look Merry the ball is mine!

Merry: So kick it Pip!

Pippin: Kick it? Why?

Gandalf: (shakes his head) Son of a Took

Frodo: That phrase is getting a bit overused, Gandalf.

Harry Potter: Just KICK it.

Pippin: Why?

Gimli: Cause that's what the whole game's about, lad!

Pippin: Oh…….why?

Harry growls in exasperation and dashes for the ball to get Pippin's attention. When Pippin sees the wizard zooming toward him at thirty miles per hour, he kicks the ball frantically away, straight at Kirk.

Kirk: Aha!

The captain knocks the Hobbit aside as he rockets toward the enemy goal.

Harry comes in to counter the maneuver but Spock bars his way leaving enough time for McCoy to cover the captain as they come in range of the goal.

Neo: Yes yes yes!

Draco: Don't let the Sci Fi nerds get the first point! Somebody beat em up!

But right as Kirk is about to kick the ball past an unsuspecting Ron the Goalkeeper, Severus Snape steals it from right under his nose and passes it to Boromir who does a fancy 360 turn before charging in the opposite direction.

Boromir: HAHAHA! Somebody catch meeee!

The Son of Denethor is a bit too excited because he slams into Worf the Klingon who beats him to the ball a fraction of a second early, kicking it forcefully toward the other end of the field where Han Solo and Hagrid leap for it at the exact same time.

Hagrid does a body slam and Han gets caught right underneath him!

( Crowd gasps in horror!)

Han: YOWAAAA!

Jack Sparrow: K.O on the TrekkWars side!

Neo: No fair!

Hagrid scrambles to his feet, a second too late, for right when he had regained balance, Data streaks toward the ball and takes it right from Hagrid's grasp.

Hagrid: Dammit, that wuz mine!

Data moves toward the opposite goal, the crowd goes wild but it wasn't long before Legolas the Elf came to intercept him.

Draco: Man, that Elf's fast!

Neo: Yeah, but the android's faster!

Draco: Who says?!

Data spins in midrun, shielding the ball, Legolas stops and lunges for it, but Data passes it to Spock who heads toward the enemy goal once again. In no time, Aragorn is on him.

Aragorn: You aren't taken that thing anywhere!

Legolas: You block, I take!

Aragorn: Got it!

Kirk: Data, don't let that blonde Vulcan beat em to it!

Spock: (raises eyebrow at the phrase "blonde Vulcan")

Data runs to cover Legolas, but the Elf was nimble. He could dodge and change direction in seconds and Data could just barely keep up.

Leia: Go TrekkWars Go! Go Trekkwars Go! Whoohooooo!

Beverly Crusher: (bored) Go Trekkwars…. like I care.

Han Solo regains balance and shoots towards Aragorn right as the Ranger was about to kick the ball from Spock. The " Lost King" didn't have a fast reaction time and was bowled right over.

Ron Weasley: Penalty! Red Card! Give him a RED CARD!!!

Jar Jar: Meesa forgot to bring Red Cards!

Ron Weasley: What type of $% referee are you?

Spock is only 25 feet from the goal when Frodo does a penguin slide across the ground and meets the ball inches ahead of the Vulcan, head butting it over everyone's heads- and right into Data's kick range.

Neo: Yes!

Draco: No!

Jack Sparrow: Uh…that's not good?

Data veers off with the ball right as Spock and Legolas trip over Frodo!

Data continues with the ball. Ron tenses, ready to evade the it but Data had calculated 7 possible points of assault in a fraction of a second and chose the spot right above Ron's head. The ball whizzed into the net before Ron could even comprehend what had happened.

Neo: And the first point is scored by Data on the TrekkWars side!

Draco: BOOOO!

The ball is reset, the teams get ready for the second round. Jar Jar blows the whistle and Spock charges the ball!

The Vulcan boots it hard and the ball flies through the air at 50 miles per hour, streaking toward Legolas. The Elf freaks out and hit's the turf to avoid it. Gimli who was standing right behind Legolas was smashed full in the face!

The crowd groans as Gimli keels over.

Kirk: I think you hit that a bit hard, Spock.

Spock: It was aimed for the Elf, not the Dwarf, Jim.

Kirk: You actually want revenge?

Legolas jumps to his feet and has the ball in an instant. He pelts toward the TrekkWar's goal.

Data intercepts from the Elf's right but Legolas was ready for him. He twisted away, always several steps ahead of the android.

Girls in the crowd were screaming " Go Leggiiiiiiiieee!!!" like crazy and the sound made Spock's ears ache. He took his place behind Data, but the Elf was hard to overtake. Mid-fielder Captain Picard was suddenly in the pursuit. He leapt for the ball, from Legolas's right, catching the Elf by surprise. Legolas stopped dead in his tracks and notched an arrow to his bow, right as Picard snatched the ball.

Neo: What's Legolas doing?

Draco: Crap, he's going to shoot Captain Picard!

Jack Sparrow: And what's wrong with that?

Right as Legolas let loose the arrow, McCoy shot his phaser on stun.

Legolas is hit full in the face by the phaser and drops unconscious right on the spot as Picard hit's the turf to avoid the arrow.

The crowd freaks out.

Girls in the stands waving Legolas posters faint at the sight of the cutest sexiest character on their team go down!

Neo: You rock Bones McCoy! Show that blonde Vulcan who's boss!

Draco: I hate you, Neo.

Neo: Common knowledge!

Picard has the ball! He pelts toward the goal but Samwise Gamgee and Gandalf the White are on his tail.

Gandalf: _Oleeo Sackapuntas_!

Neo: What the F?

Draco: I think Gandalf just cursed him.

White light shoots from Gandalf's staff and hits Picard in the back. The captain trips and loses the ball.

Neo: What?!

Draco: You always sound so clueless about EVERYTHING!

Jack Sparrow: What?!

Sam does a slide tackle and kicks the ball to Frodo who shoots it toward Merry who passes it to Pippin who stands there looking dumb and lost.

Merry: Kick it Pip!

Pippin: Why?

But that moments delay was enough to turn the tide of battle. Worf rams into the Hobbit and has the ball in an instant.

Frodo: NO FAIR!

Worf heads toward the goal.

Aragorn: What's an Orc doing in this game?

Boromir: Die ORCS!

Aragorn and Boromir run toward Worf from both sides, brandishing swords and yelling like madmen!

Worf jumps ahead a moment before they could evade him and the two guys slam into each other VERY painfully.

Neo: You guys are getting creamed!

Draco: Just you wait, Neo, just you wait.

Neo didn't need to wait, Worf sends the ball into the goal and Ron realizes that he was supposed to stop him about half a minute late.

Ron: Oh blimey, he's good.

Dumbledore: Don't compliment the enemy, TRAITOR!

Neo: And the second point scored by Worf goes to the Trekkwars!

Draco: (buries his face in his hands and sobs)

Jack Sparrow: (has know idea what just happened but sobs just to look like he's interested)

Neo goes crazy and waves a Trekkwars flag to brag to the other commentators about how awesome Sci Fi is.

With only three minutes left in the first half of the game, Jar Jar sets the ball rather awkwardly and blows the whistle!

Luke Skywalker screams like a maniac and rushes toward the ball.

He punts the ball a little over exxageratingly and it rolls about 2 feet from its starting point.

There's a long pause where everyone expects something amazing to happen.

Draco: Some kind of kicker.

Neo: (shoots him the evil eye again)

Nothing happens.

So Spock and Data bolt for it at the same time but Han has the head start. He boots the ball to Chewbacca who is on offense and passes it to C3PO.

C3PO: I can't kick it, I just can't.

R2D2: Beep Beep Bop Beepboop Bop Deep!

C3PO: Alright alright, don't rush me!

C3PO inches toward the ball and does a wimpy punt which at least went one inch farther and Luke's.

Neo: Someone go take it, take it, take it, NO!

Dumbledore shoots the ball past 3PO. None of his team could keep up, now the headmaster was at the mercy of the TrekkWarries!

Draco: For the first time, I actually want my headmaster to make it through alive.

Neo: Just so you know, he probably won't.

Jack Sparrow: Wait, the guest speaker should be on now right? There he is!

Indiana Jones leaps into the commentary booth and bonks his head hard on the way in.

Indiana Jones: YOW!

Neo: Sheesh.

Jack Sparrow: My HERO!!!

Indiana Jones: Uh…. (looks extremely disturbed).

Jack Sparrow: Ahem- nevermind.

Draco: I thought you were being chased by Nazis somewhere in Egypt!

Indiana: I told them to resume my movie after I got back.

Draco: Oh…..wow.

Indiana: I know, I'm totally cool and awesome! So who's winning?

Draco: Neo's team.

Neo: TREKKWARRRRRRRRRSSSSS!

Indiana Jones: That doesn't sound good.

Dumbledore zooms toward the goal but Goalkeeper Obi Wan Kenobi is ready for him.

Obi Wan: Drop the ball Albus!

Dumbledore: NEVERRRR!!!

Obi Wan waves his hand once over Dumbledore's face and the headmaster forgets to kick.

Dumbledore: O.K, I'll drop the ball.

Obi Wan grins evilly.

Boromir: Hey, that's cheating! Jar Jar, give him a red card!

Jar Jar: Meesa has NO red cards!

Boromir: $!*^(&)!

Data has possession of the ball (again)! No one can keep up with him as he speeds toward Ron's goal.

But his arch-nemesis (Legolas) is not about to let him get away.

Legolas: That's MIIIIIINNNNEE!

( To be Continued in Chapter 3!!!)


	3. Mind Meld!

Thanks for reading Chapters One and Two, here is Chapter Three peoplez! Don't forget to R & R. If you R & R my work, I'll check out yours!

( Continued from Chap. 2)

The fantasy crowd cheers as Legolas lunges and whacks the android across the back of the head. Data is caught by surprise but returns the attack with a solid punch to the elf's nose.

More girls in the stands scream and faint.

Neo: K.O!

Draco: You've got to be kidding me.

Indiana Jones: Impressive. Wait, is that guy all-titanium?

Jack Sparrow: Unfortunately, yes.

Indiana Jones: Cool….Go TrekkWars!

Legolas is knocked senseless again and Data continues with the ball, but Severus Snape has his wand ready.

Snape: Sectumsempra!

A beam of brilliant red light shoots from his wand and hits Data square in the back.

The android stumbles, glances behind him as if nothing happened, and runs faster.

Snape: WHAT?!?!

Frodo: He's made of metal you idiot!

Snape: What-how-who-what-why-when-?!?

Saruman and Gandalf zoom toward the ball.

Saruman: I've got it, I've got it!

Gandalf: It's mine you idiot, mine alone!

Saruman snarls and says a bunch of nasty dark Elvish words.

Saruman: _Akamoocha Sackoocha_!

The ball shoots into the air as if being controlled by an invisible being and flies right over Data's head.

Data:….???

Saruman: HA! Screw you!

Gandalf: _Calloka Hamanuka Sacapuntao!_

The ball flies and plops at Gandalf's feet. He grins at Saruman triumphantly and boots it to Aragorn who passes it to Boromir who's on his way to the goal.

Neo: H-he used _magic!_

Draco: That's what science fiction lacks, _magic._

Neo: Hey!

Boromir was fast but not as fast as Aragorn or Legolas.

Kirk: Get him Spock!

Spock charges to meet Boromir.

Boromir: Help!

Neo: Dude, and he's supposed to be some kind of noble prince.

Aragorn sprints in and is ahead of Spock in a minute.

Aragorn: Time for you to feel the edge of my sword, Elf Traitor!

Spock: (raises eyebrow) _Elf?_

Aragorn unsheathes the sword of Alundil and cries in triumph as he brings it down toward Spock's head.

Kirk: YAAH!

Picard: Oh $!^!

Luke Skywalker: (GASP!)

McCoy: (inwardly) Yes!

Worf: Spock!

C3PO: Dear, oh dear!!!

Data: I wonder if every being on the field currently is feeling the emotion commonly known as "panic".

Geordy LaForge: GAAH! (averts eyes/visor)

Uhura: EEEEEKK!

Han Solo: Good riddance!

Spock grabs Aragorn by the neck and does a well trained Mind Meld on him!

Boromir: Aragorn!

Harry Potter: What the heck-!

Frodo: Strider!

Pippin: Why?

Galadriel: Elessar!

Merry: What is that Elf doing?

Legolas: For the last time- HE IS NOT AN ELF!

Gandalf: Dear oh dear.

C3PO: You stole my line!

Aragorn slumps to the ground unconscious.

Spock shoots the ball toward the goal

Boromir: Huh? DIE ELF!

Legolas sighs in exasperation!

Boromir runs toward Spock at full speed but the Vulcan Mind Melds him and Boromir slumps to the ground just like Aragorn.

Frodo: Penalty! Penalty!

Jar Jar: Meesa forgot to bring penalties!

Sam: You don't BRING penalties, idiot! You make them!

Jar Jar: Meesa not know how to make penalty-

Ron: Then why the bloody hell are you a referee?

Jar Jar: Meesa is a referee?

Draco: We need a replacement!

A dozen riders of Rohan enter from the side of the stadium and trample Jar Jar.

Neo: (averts eyes) I can't look!

Jack Sparrow: And you're supposed to be the Chosen One?

Indiana Jones: I thought Harry was the Chosen One!

Draco snarls like a wild animal and punches Indy in the face.

Draco: Our replacement referee will be………….

Neville Longbottom runs in to take Jar Jar's place.

Neville: I forgot about the game!

Draco: Not you, you're even dumber than Jar Jar!

Neville starts crying and McCoy gets pissed of him. He shoots the phaser he stole from a Starfleet officer at the start of the game, sets it on stun and knocks Neville out.

Draco: Thanks Doctor! The replacement for Neville is……….Lore!

Neo: Lore? But that's Data!

Draco: No, Data's over there!

Neo: But- oh you're right. Then who's that?

Draco: His evil twin brother you dope!

Lore: You suck Data!

Data: Do you have a logical explanation for your hypothesis?

Lore: AARGH!

Spock has the ball, again.

Legolas notches an arrow to his bow aimed for Spock's head but before he could shoot it Spock pulls his phaser and stuns Legolas again.

Girls freak out as Legolas crumples to the ground for the third time.

Lore: Penalty! Get the hell out of there Spock!

Kirk: But that was in self-defense!

Lore: But you still shot him, so HA!

Draco: This guy's good!

Spock goes to the penalty box and waits out his penalty without a word.

Draco: Yes! One down on the Trekkwars side.

Neo: Three down on the WIZard Lords!

Fred Weasley boots the ball to George who makes a mad dash to evade the Trekkies.

Worf lunges for the ball, but George's too quick for him. He dodges the Klingon and Worf slams face first onto the turf.

Frodo: Yes! We have defeated the Orc!

Picard dashes in to intercept the young wizard but Fred sets off a firecracker he conjured out of thin air in the captain's face.

BOOM

Picard: YAAH!

Fred: Awesome!

Neo: Lore, that's a penalty.

Lore: What I didn't see anything.

Data: That was a lie!

Kirk who's on defense comes to fill in for Picard. He pulls out his phaser and threatens George.

Kirk: Drop the ball, kid!

George: You better catch me first!

Kirk shoots his phaser a dozen times but always misses George.

The whole time, Fred had been sneaking up from behind the other captain.

Fred: Petrificus Totalus!

A beam of blue light flies from his wand and slams into Kirk. He goes as stiff as a board and hit's the ground, unable to move.

Neo: Penalty!

Lore: Ah. I'll let that one pass.

Neo: But-!

George was only a few feet away from the goal when McCoy who was intent on strangling the wizard dashed in and physically knocked him over.

Lore: PENALTY!

Neo: But the last two were-?!

McCoy gets dragged off the field by Elves, yelling and kicking.

McCoy: I'll kill you for this Lore!

Lore: You're not the first person who's said that.

George makes the goal and all the fantasy fans whoop and cheer like crazy.

Legolas, Aragorn, and Boromir recover simultaneously right as the half-time bell rings.

Draco: Well that's it for now cause it's half-time folks. Let's go sneak a peek though at what the teams are doing at though, shall we?


	4. The Battle at Halftime!

Sorry for the wait guys, I had a lot of work to do recently so I didn't have time to write. But bear with me! Here's Chapter 4: The Half-time Battle!!!

HALF-TIME

WIZard Lords Locker Room.

Legolas: I want to KILL the Vulcan and android…..

Boromir: No one's stopping you.

Legolas: Hey, you're right!

Boromir: I didn't mean that!

Legolas: Who here wants to lead a full-fledged attack on the enemy?

Fred, George, Harry Potter, Frodo, Sam, Pippin, Merry, Glorfindel, Aragorn, Boromir, Dumbledore, Saruman, Ron, Severus Snape all shout " TOTALLY!"

Gandalf: This is going to get us eliminated, you realize that right?

Legolas: The commentators will never find out! MUHAHA!

Draco: ( hiding inside a locker) No worries, you're on camera now anyway. Teehee!

TrekkWars Lockers

Picard: I can't believe that Lore pinpointed our exact location for the fourth time!

Riker: I know, it's like he can track us.

Data: Perhaps someone reactivated him and gave him our precise location. Though that possibility seems fairly unlikely. Or perhaps the being who reactivated him also reengineered the tracking device in his brain and gained access to my positronic net. That strategy would be equivalent to a tracking device in functionality.

Riker: Yeah, but this time he wasn't feeding you dangerous emotions and making you go totally nuts.

Data: In order to be subtle, he may have chosen not to employ emotions to-

Luke Skywalker: _You guys are nerds!_

Checkov: (In that hardly understandable Russian accent) That's whey we are moore scienteefeec than your lot, Skywacker!

Luke: And you guys haven't even thought up turbo lasers yet. Sheesh.

Scotty: (in his Scottish accent) Can you explain the anatomy of a turbo laser to the rest of us to prove your "superiority" , huh?!

Luke: Uh the turbo lasers have… plutonium cores uh…. Some kind of wire which sets off an electromagnetic chain reaction…..

Scotty: And you think our weapons are primitive when you can't even explain the full use of your own?

Luke: So what, turbo lasers SOUND cooler!

Scotty and Luke have an ultimate stare-down which breaks when Han Solo walks over and whacks Luke across the back of the head.

Luke: Yow!

Han: Cut it out kid!

Luke: You don't have permission to hit me! I'm Luke Skywalker, the super cool Jedi knight, son of Anakin Skywalker, and I am the one and _only_ person who can save the galaxy from the evil tyranical Galactic empire!!!

Han: You're dad's not Anakin Skywalker, he's Darth Vader.

Luke: But there's still good in him!

Han: You still think he's good after he chopped your hand off and made you fall a thousand feet off a cloud city?

Luke: But there is still good in him Han!

Han was about to object when Legolas springs out from nowhere and has him in a headlock.

Legolas: DIE HUMAN!

Aragorn: Wait……. What?

Legolas: I meant ASTRONAUT! DIE!

Suddenly all the other WIZard Lords jump out of hiding and attack the Trekkwars who were caught completely off guard.

Snape grins evilly and aims his wand at Data who is just looking around and doesn't notice him.

Snape: CRUCIO!

A ray of blood red light makes the air crackle with fire and sparks as the spell catches Data right in the back of the head.

The red light fades and Data looks around like something had just happened but he wasn't quite sure what.

Then he sees Snape who is staring at him like he was some reincarnation of Sirius Black who had come back from the dead!

Data: Excuse me, but I believe you are mistaken. I am incapable of feeling pain or any emotion without inserting an Emotion Chip into my positronic brain net-

Snape:…Oh……crap.

Data pulls out his phaser, sets it on stun, and shoots the potions teacher.

Han sends a fancy uppercut to Legolas's chin and punches the Elf harshly.

Aragorn pounces on Han and brings him down to the floor, literally.

Fred and George take on Worf together, setting off firecrackers all over the place.

Fred: Blimey this is EXCITING!

Worf: Stop, infernal children!

Gandalf and Saruman team up against Picard, Scotty, Sulu, and Checkov who are shooting their phasers but miss every time.

Gandalf: _Shacalacka Boomchicka!_

Checkov: EEEK!

A beam of white energy shoots from Gandalf's staff and throws Checkov 10 feet into the air. The navigator bonks his head painfully on a bench on his way down.

Saruman: _Boom boom POW!_

A beam of dark purple energy rockets from Saruman's staff and smashes Scotty and Sulu against a row of lockers.

Saruman and Gandalf hi-five each other and turn on Picard, looking ready to strangle him.

Picard looks around worriedly to see that no one was there to stick up for him. Gandalf and Saruman were inching forward menacingly.

Picard: Uh- NUMBER OOOONE?!!!

Riker meanwhile was getting his head bashed into a wall by a totally berserk Boromir.

Boromir: HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

Riker: Oof! Ow- Gaah! Oof! Aiiii! Aak! Eek! Agh!

Geordy was getting beaten up by Gimli and Legolas who were punching the daylights out of him.

Gimli: Heehee! We're winning! We're winning, we're-

Kirk, Spock, and McCoy return from their trip to the concessions stand. McCoy was holding 14 cans of soda and was looking murderous.

Gimli: Uuuuuuuhhh….. (says nervously) Hey there guys- Aaahhhh!

McCoy hurls a can of Pepsi at sixty miles per hour and it crashes into the dwarf.

Kirk was holding 5 bags of caramel popcorn…..not good.

Kirk: Eat this!!!

The captain stuffs the bag in Boromir's face. The other guy freaks out and backs away but collides with Aragorn who was trying to run from McCoy's Pepsi missiles. The collision was so forceful that they slump to the ground, unconscious.

Legolas growls dangerously at Spock who was holding a bag of hot dogs.

Spock returns the glare, but with his Vulcan aloofness.

Spotlight focuses on them.

Rest of battle fades away.

Spock throws the food into the crowd. The hotdogs slam into Pippin who's scream wasn't heard.

Spock pulls out phaser.

Legolas pulls out bow and arrow.

Draco: Go Leggiiiiiiiieee!

The Elf gets distracted at Draco's cry.

Legolas: What-

Spock takes his chance and shoots his phaser.

Legolas is hit square in the chest by the phaser beam and falls to the ground in totally-awesome slow motion!!!

Girls in the stands scream anyway even though they couldn't have seen him.

Spock tucks away his phaser and gives the slightest most unnoticeable hint of a smile.

Spock: My work here is done.

He walks back into battle.

Neo: You rock Spock!

Draco: Leggiiiiiiiieee!

Indiana Jones: This battle needs my saving expertiiiiiiiise!

Neo: Indy, no!

Indiana Jones unfurls his Bullwhip and whacks Harry Potter across the head with it.

Neo: Dr. Jones….. Oh crapocrapocrapo-.

Indiana Jones beats up every WIZard Lord character in sight.

Indiana Jones: Get out of my way halflings-!

Kicks Sam into Frodo and Merry.

Indiana Jones: Back off fatso!

Indy conjures a sledgehammer out of thin air and pounds Hagrid on the head with it. The half-giant was too big to be critically injured but passes out anyway.

Draco: We've got to stop him! You there, pass me a phaser! Oh heck-

Draco steals a phaser from Riker who had been beaten senseless and sets it on its highest stun setting. Neo borrows Gimli's axe and Jack Sparrow grabs Aragorn's sword.

Neo: Indy! Indiana Jones!

Draco: Dr. Jones? Professor!

Jack Sparrow: Come ova' here Jones!

Indiana Jones was beating up Boromir who had somehow come around.

Neo: I've got im I've got im!

Neo raises his axe and brings it down an inch short of Indy.

It catches the professor's attention.

Indy: Huh? Oh it's you again- GAAH!

Draco shoots Indy in the back during the distraction. He collapses.

Draco: Phew, now that that's over……… where's Legolas?!

Legolas had come around and was bolting out of the door with the rest of the WIZard Lords. They didn't want to stick around with the commentators to blow their cover.

Boromir: Guys! Don't leave me!

Boromir scrambles to his feet and chases after his teammates, limping and stumbling to catch up.

Checkov: OW, my BACK!

Riker: I think I broke something…

The commander keels over, unconcsious.

McCoy: That shows those little f***ing bastards who's boss!

Data: Is there a logical explanation for their aggressive actions?

Spock: No. None of that was logical.

Neo: Get yourselves organized. I want my favorite team on the field in 2 minutes and 47.97 seconds!

Picard: (looks ready to bash Neo's head in but decides he'd probably get the chance later. Instead he says gravely:) Very well.

~ It gets better after half-time! Next up: " The Chosen Ones Strike Back!"


End file.
